Well it has been quite some time since I've written anything. The last few weeks have been glutted by unfulfilled intentions to do so stemming from my constant state of busyness.
This semester started very slowly, but we're already a third of the way through it. I'm in the midst of my first bombardment of exams and unsure of how I'm really doing. Three of my classes consist of semester-long projects. They're all relatively interesting, but it's just a lot of work. I've been so used to my past of just succeeding in classes without trying. Now, I have to put in some effort.
But enough about school. School is hardly the most important thing in this world. Some people would like to argue that it is, but I beg to differ. I fully believe in the value of education, but that doesn't necessarily come from school. I know a lot of people that have graduated from high school and college and aren't indubitably educated.
Really, enough about school.
I recently had quite the realization. It's not something I want to get into details about, but I really took a look at my life and the things it contains and was unhappy with what I saw. I was becoming a person I didn't want to be, someone I wouldn't even want to associate with. So like it says in Matthew 5:30, I cut it out of me. I dropped that part of me, and I haven't looked back. I pray about it every night and I'm working to just move past that point in my life. It's been a long time since I've felt as good as I feel right now. I absolutely feel like a new man.
I also decided to make some changes in my financial management. After reading "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller, I really got a new understanding of the importance of tithing 10% of your income to the church. He tells the story about one of his friends who would religiously take 10% of each paycheck and put it into a jar. He immediately considered it God's money and thought that taking from that jar, for any reason, would be stealing from God. Even though he didn't go to church every week, he understood that it was only right that he give back to God who has given him so much.
So I decided to adopt that. As soon as I get a paycheck, I take 10% and give it to my church. Since I technically attend two different ones, I think I'm going to alternate it. But in addition to that, I've decided to also put 10% of each check into my savings. I've always been good at saving, but recently have failed to really do it. I really think that this will be rewarding in the end, and I'm glad I've decided to do it.
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There seems to be a lot of chaotic feelings going around lately. I've had more than a few friends tell me they just feel like everything is falling apart around them. I really know how that feels, I've been there. You get into a time in your life where things that have been constant for so long just aren't there anymore. You get shoved out of your comfort zone and are forced to make changes in your life. At the time, it can definitely seem like the end of the world, but it's really just a rough spot. You don't realize it until you get past it though.
Sometimes we get so complacent and set in our way of life that we don't realize the smallest change can send us flying. And I think that God sometimes throws those changes at us to wake us up, and for good reason. Full dependence on something material or another person is not to our benefit. You can't fully depend on something fallible. It just doesn't work. It's like sitting on a cardboard box in the rain a believing it'll hold you up.
The reality is, once you get past it, you'll realize that the change needed to happen. And you'll realize that these setbacks are nothing in the grand scheme of things. There is only one completely dependable force in this world, and He wants you to recognize that.
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I've really come to realize how much we as Americans take for granted. I've heard that so much throughout my life, but it really is true. Our "problems" here would be blessings for other people in the world. And even so, we have Christians in America who focus more on who's theology and doctrine are more correct instead of focusing on the thing that Christ spoke about the most; love. There are people suffering all over the world and some Christians refuse to acknowledge their needs.
I'm not trying to be preachy because I definitely feel like I should be doing more. I'm just merely pointing out the reality of it. Christians are seen as intolerant and hateful. That is not what they should be. When someone is hurting and in need, a Christian should be there first. Not to preach to the person or judge them, but to share love with them. Words are encouraging, but love is life changing.
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