I'm starting to think that I'm kind of shy, or at least I'd like to be

I've got a lot to say about a lot of random things, so please excuse the incoherence of this entire post.

My dad left for Texas last Thursday. I haven't really been affected by it since I'm used to not seeing him since I moved for college, but it's still strange to think that he's on the other side of the country now. Before he left, he told me all the things he'd like me to be responsible for while he's gone and what's to be done if something happens to him. It's nice to know that he has enough trust in me to leave me with all the responsibility he did, although I wish he didn't have to.

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I went to a career gallery last week. It was the biggest one on campus. I talked to a lot of different companies about internships and what not. It was really awkward at first. It's tough to just go up to someone and start talking about myself. I don't consider myself a particularly interesting person. I felt like I was basically saying to each of them, "My name is Chris, I'm a marketing junior, I'm looking for an internship." It was all pretty ridiculous. I did talk to some companies I'm pretty interested in, so we'll see what comes of that. Most of their interviewing doesn't start until around February.

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Have you ever listened to someone tell you about something that has happened to them and you can't help but think the whole time, "How sad." There are so many people I know that are just doing nothing with their lives. I mean, I am far from perfect, there's a lot more I could and probably should be doing with my life. I try to squeeze as much as I can into my time, but sometimes I just need to do nothing. My plan is to finish up college, get a job I will find satisfaction in, and make a difference somehow. I just see so many people that I know just doing nothing. They maybe work some hours at a dead-end job, but spend most of their time focusing on childish drama and indulgences that ultimately lead to nowhere. I just think it's sad to see people doing nothing with their lives. God gave everyone abilities and it's just a crime to see them waste.

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I went to church yesterday and the pastor talked about worrying and anxiety. This is something I had a big problem with until pretty recently. I was never one to completely let anxiety overtake me, but I definitely lost sleep over things. The thing that really hit me was when he talked about not worrying about finding a spouse. He said to just stop wondering if and when it will happen and just trust in the fact that God will take care of it. This is something I still worry about from time to time. I feel like sometimes I'm really picky, which some of my friends think is not beneficial to me. But God made me that way. I don't want to just settle for someone. There are things I desire and need out of a relationship and I'm not going to settle just to have someone. I don't need to have someone. If I'm with someone, it should be because I want to be with them. Not just to simply have someone.

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That's about the extent of what I feel about writing about right now. I feel like the last few posts have just been useless rambling. Hopefully the next one will actually have some substance.