I love science. I always have. I am particularly fascinated by the Universe and all the elements of it. Over the past couple years, I've become very fond of the string theory and the idea of time. I think this type of science is just magnificently interesting and exciting. It's reaching out to understand things we know so little about. That is science.

I've been thinking a lot lately about siblings. Not just my own, but the idea of siblings as a whole. I was thinking how there is no one in the world more closely related to you, biologically, than your siblings. I mean, you only share half of your makeup with each of your parents. And when you have children, you only share half of your makeup with them. But your siblings contain the same makeup as you. I think that's pretty phenomenal.

Well, things are coming along. Before I graduated, I had 3 major immediate post-graduation goals, and two of those are accomplished:

1. Get a job
2. Get an apartment
3. Get more involved with church

The job is going really well. I like that it's laid back, I like that I get to do the stuff I get to do, and I like the people that I get to work with. It's cool that in an entry level position, I get to work directly with the CEO and he genuinely has an interest in my thoughts and ideas. I enjoy going into work each day.

The apartment is coming together, as well. Ryan and I moved in over the weekend. I think we pretty much have everything unpacked and put away. The only thing we still really need is a couch, but hopefully I'll be taking care of that this week. So far, we haven't really run into any problems. This is the first time Ryan has lived on his own, so the experience may be a little different for him. I've been out on my own for almost 4 years now, so I'm used to everything. I don't foresee us having any problems living together.

So my last immediate post-graduation goal is to get more involved at church. I've been really trying this past year to do that, but being so far away from my home church really made it difficult. I'm now a lot closer, so I think things will finally be able to work out. I'm not really sure what areas I'll be involved, but I'm sure I can find a need.

I'm hoping that being out of school and having a more structured schedule will allow me to do a lot of the things I haven't been able to do the last four years. I'm hoping I'll have more time to play guitar and read. I'm also hoping I'll have more time to go hiking. I've been thinking about getting a new bike and maybe doing some more bike riding. Just the things I couldn't (or didn't) fit into my schedule during school.

It's weird that I don't have anything big to look forward to now. In high school, I looked forward to college. In college, I looked forward to new semesters, graduation, and getting a job. Now, I have a job and I'm done with school, so it just feels like there isn't anything big to look forward to. I'm fine with that for the time being. It's nice to get into some stability. I just don't want to get too comfortable doing the same thing day after day, week after week.

If you're completely comfortable with your life, you're probably not living it to the fullest.

It's been a couple weeks since I've been able to write anything. I've been thankfully busy!

On the Monday after graduation, I got a phone call asking me to come in for a second interview for a the position I had interviewed for the week before. To make a long story short, I got the position and started on the 18th. My position is the "Internet Marketing and Communications Director." I'm really excited about the position and really enjoy it. The people at this company are really great and the things I'm going to be doing are a lot of fun.

Don't worry. The good news doesn't stop there. In a couple weeks, I'm going to be moving to an apartment in Ann Arbor. I'll be rooming with my good friend, Ryan. Ann Arbor is about 30-45 minutes away from where I'm working, but I think it'll be worth the drive. I like being in Ann Arbor, I have a lot of friends there, there's a lot to do, and it's not too far from my family.
I'm really excited about living with Ryan. I think it's going to be a really good experience for both of us, and I think we're going to have a lot of fun. It's kind of strange that I don't live with Chris anymore, as he's been my roommate for the last 4 years. We definitely had our ups and downs in that time, but I still enjoyed living with him. It's going to be great to share that experience with Ryan, too.

I think everyone should have to live with a roommate or a few roommates during the early part of their life. I think it really builds character and probably prepares us for married life. You kind of learn how to pick your battles; which things are worth fighting for and which things are better left alone. I think that, regardless of your personality type, humans are social beings. When we don't experience that social interaction, I think we're missing out on a big part of what we're here for. I was dreading the idea of having to live in an apartment on my own, so I'm definitely glad that won't be happening.

I know that the last month or so of posts have been kind of rushed and/or lacking. I promise that some more worthwhile stuff is coming!

Well, it's all done. I am no longer a student.

The ceremony was extremely long and tedious, but we had a really good speaker. There were over 900 people graduating from the business college, so it took quite a long time to get through everyone. The fact that we weren't allowed to shake hands because of the swine flu may have saved us a nice chunk of time.

After the ceremony, my family and some friends came over to my apartment. When I say my family, I mean my entire family, minus my aunt and uncle and two cousins that live in Arizona. So about 40 people jammed in my apartment, had some pizza and cake, and just kept each other company. It was actually a lot of fun and very low-key, which I liked.

So now, I'm in the in-between stage. I'm no longer a student, and I'm not longer employed. I'm trying to figure out the next step. I should be hearing back about one interview this week, but I'm keeping a lookout for something else. I'm also still considering more education and possibly even seminary. Those are things that I've been kind of pushing aside in my frantic search for a job, but they just keep coming back around.

I'm just going to keep praying, keep searching and try to enjoy whatever time off I have.

Well, school is all done and now my school job is as well. Today was my last day working at the Academic Technology Services Help Desk at MSU. I've been working there since my very first day of class as a freshman. I've really enjoyed working in that position with all my coworkers, but I'm ready to move onto something new. I've been doing computer support work since I was 16, and I'm ready for something else.

Tomorrow is the actual graduation. I'm not really excited for it, but I'm also not dreading it. I hate to say I'm feeling a little apathetic toward it, but I think that's the best way to describe it. I think if I really knew what was happening after tomorrow, I'd be a lot more likely to feel excitement. With all that is unknown to me right now, it's just kind of hard for me to get excited.

But even though all this unknown is maybe keeping me from being really excited, it's not scaring me. It's pretty strange that I'm at a changing point in my life with absolutely no clue where to go, but I feel alright. I feel at peace with that. I feel secure in knowing that something will happen and that it will be exactly what it should be.

I took my last final exam today. I think it went pretty well. It felt kind of strange walking out of a classroom for the last time. As I was walking on campus, I felt a little bit of nostalgia for the first time. I'm just going to miss walking on campus.

After I was done with my final, I met up with a couple friends that I haven't seen in about 4 years. It was really cool to reconnect with them. It was almost as if there was no gap in our seeing each other at all. It was definitely nice to see them again, and we plan to make it a more regular thing.

I was having trouble sleeping this morning, so I woke up around 5 am and started reading The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis. I came across this paragraph that just really spoke to where I am in my life right now:

"Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or your happiness to the future. Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment 'as to the Lord.' It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received."

Being at this transition point in my life, all I can do is think about the distant future. I'm so worried that whatever decisions or jobs I take right now might somehow screw up my future life. I really love Lewis' reference to the Lord's Prayer. I often times forget that Jesus told us to take everything a day at a time:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:34

That passage in The Weight of Glory was just really what I needed to realize right now. How gracious.

One final is out of the way for this week, and I just have one more tomorrow. After that, there's nothing but putting on a robe and a goofy hat, walking across a stage, grabbing a piece of paper, and not shaking a hand (because of the swine flu).

After my final today, I watched "The Astronaut Farmer" on HBO. I actually really liked it. I always love stories about people doing something amazing despite all the obstacles and people in their way. I also really liked this story because of the picture it portrays of a supportive family. There isn't one part in the movie where the family really gives up on the guy, even though following his dream almost costs them their home. It was a real "feel-good" movie.

Now that I'm done learning college stuff, I'm starting to turn my attention toward things I've been looking to learn. I really want to learn more Internet design and formatting language, so I'm starting to read up on that. I know some basic stuff, but nothing intense.

Now, I will list emotions that I am currently feeling: excited, optimistic, happy, unsure, nervous, caffeinated (is that an emotion?).

Now, I will list emotions that I am not feeling: nostalgic, sad, sure, hopeless.

And now I am going to find something to do before I go to bed.

Four days to go. I have a final exam tomorrow, so most of this evening was spent preparing for that. It's for my Paganism, Judaism and Christianity in the Ancient World class. I really enjoyed taking this class, even though I didn't see eye to eye with the professor. It was a good experience to view these religions from a "scholastic" standpoint. It was kind of tough when we got to Christianity and I was hearing a bunch of stuff that I consider to be BS, but it was still a good experience overall.

Other than that, I didn't do a whole lot today. I got to sleep in for the first time in quite a while. I went to work, but it was pretty much dead the whole time. That allowed for some final relationship building with some coworkers, which was nice.

Still working on the job search. Didn't find anything promising today, but that's alright. I'm just praying that God's will be done (which it will be) and trying not to stress myself out. It sounds like it'd be easy to just let go of things and let someone else handle them, but it's really tough.