I do a lot of work with the student ministry at my church. Whenever there's an event or a gathering coming up that I'm trying to get students to, there's invariably one excuse that they feel trumps all else:

"I have homework..."

Or, "I have a test..."

And there's no good way for me to counter that argument. School is important, and it's very likely that their parents and their teachers have made it clear to them that school is most important. I could tell them that their relationship with God and other Christians is vastly more important than school, but then I might be leading them to disobey their parents. And lets be honest, some students are just dying for somebody to open that door for them.

But I do really think it's an issue that we make school the number one priority for kids. Again, I'm not downplaying its importance, but there are surely more important things. And for any Christian parents, you would think it'd be clear that your child's relationship with their Savior and the Creator of the universe would be more important than algebra, even just slightly. But sure enough, the philosophy tends to be, "I'll join that study/go to that event/read my Bible if I finish my homework first."

Active faith gets treated like an extracurricular activity. It's good to go to, but only if you get your real work out of the way first.

But this doesn't just stop at students. I think this mindset affects a lot of us, including myself. We fill our days with work and other things, and kind of leave whatever scraps of time we have for God. We don't make spending time with Him the priority in our life. Whether it's going to church, participating in a community group, praying or reading our Bible - we make it a secondary priority.

If we really made God our primary priority, it would mean making our faith the real work and everything else the secondary priority. And that might mean missing a phone call at work to volunteer in a ministry. Or taking a couple hours off from studying to go to a community group.

Otherwise, how is God different from any other extracurricular activity?

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I voted for Romney. Not because I like him or think he's the answer to our problems, but just because he isn't Obama. I haven't been too thrilled with some of the stuff that has happened the past four years, so my vote reflected that.

When I woke up this morning to find that Obama had been reelected, I reacted in a way that reflected how important this outcome was to me - I shrugged.

I know this makes it seem like I'm apathetic, but the opposite couldn't be more true. I have very strong opinions on politics and the direction of our government. And I could get all worked up about this loss and get on Facebook and post a bunch of outlandish comments about how horrible of a decision this was, but what good would that do?

Obama was reelected. No amount of whining, complaining, insulting or arguing will change that - so why bother?

As I've gotten older, I've realized that the government can really only affect a few minor areas of my life, at least in this country (thank God). So even if I do end up seeing less money in my paycheck, or I end up spending more money on healthcare (or whatever else might happen) - my happiness isn't tied to that. My contentment and ability to enjoy life has very little to do with who has been elected President.

Do I think things could be better in this country? Of course. But things could definitely be a lot worse.

So for those of you who were extremely happy with the outcome of the election - I'm happy for you. I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to cast a vote for a Presidential candidate I'm excited about.

But for now, I'm just going to carry on with my life as normal. I'm going to work hard, enjoy my family and friends, and pursue a true Happiness that certainly doesn't rely politics (or on anything else that the world controls).

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Well, I got married!

We've actually been married a little over two months now and things are going quite well. We did so much pre-marital preparation that we (so far) haven't found ourselves surprised by a whole lot.

On my part, it's been a bit of a struggle handling the way I do things versus the way Jenna does things (but we knew that was going to be the case). I just do my best to look at the situation first and say, "Does this REALLY have to be my way? Or do I just WANT it to be my way?" For the most part, I think I've been doing a decent job deciphering between the two.

Before getting married, I noticed I was kind of mourning my independence. I kept thinking about how I wouldn't really have my "own" space anymore and stuff like that. I knew it was a selfish desire and not a huge concern, but the thought still sat in the back of my mind. But I've found over the last couple months that I don't mind sharing my space. I don't mind having Jenna there when I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. Actually, I rather enjoy sharing all that with her.

Same thing with money. Anyone who knows me knows how anal I am about money stuff. I'm that guy that monitors his credit score and plays all the games to maintain responsible finances. It kind of scared me merging all that with someone else. But, so far, it hasn't been a huge issue. Jenna understands my desire to monitor all that and lets me take care of it. Honestly, I think she prefers not having to worry about it.

So married life is great. It's obvious that God fulfills his promises of marriage when it's done the way He designed it. I'm looking forward to all the things He has in store for us!

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I used to be so much better at updating this blog! I suppose my time has just been jam packed with a ton of different things lately.

Actually, here's a fancy little chart to show you what has been occupying my time the last couple weeks:

The saddest thing about this pie chart (besides the fact that I spend nearly a third of my life sleeping and I still feel exhausted) is how little time I'm taking to personally work on my relationship with God. It's so small that it doesn't even count as a full 1%!

Now, sure, I'm working on that relationship in other things I do throughout the week. I experience God while serving in student ministry in ways I never believed possible. And part of the "Spending Time with Friends" includes my weekly small group, which obviously has the purpose of building our relationship with God. And during my driving time, I listen to godly audiobooks and podcasts (go me!).

But I even spend more time eating than I do talking to God. And that's saying a lot because I'm an extremely fast eater. I'm obviously reminded of what Jesus said to Satan while being tempted in Matthew 4:4:

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

I'm living on working, eating, wedding planning, sleeping, moderately exercising and zoning out (I think that's what makes up the ??? time). But if Jesus is telling me I can't live on that stuff alone, why don't I make time for what will sustain me?

A few weeks ago, I decided to start waking up at 5:15 in the morning, go for a run, then come home and read from the Bible and pray before getting ready for work. I loved it! My body felt good, my soul felt good. It was good!

That lasted about a week. Then I started hitting the snooze button up until I absolutely had to be getting ready for work.

It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with God; I love when I do. It's just a lot easier for me to say, "Well, I'll make time for God later. He doesn't sleep or anything, so we can make that work once all this other stuff is out of the way." But, obviously, that time goes to something else (probably sleep).

Jesus told us the two greatest commandments were to love God and to love people. Based on my pie chart, I'm not making enough time to love God or people. And I could easily give tons of excuses why, but I'm pretty sure none of them are more important than obeying the two greatest commandments.

What does your pie chart look like?

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I wrote this the night before my birthday, but Blogger was down for maintenance and I couldn't post it.

I’m turning 24 in a couple hours.

I can remember when even the idea of being in my twenties seemed like such a far off and foreign concept. I remember dreaming of who I would be, where I would live, what I would be doing.

Now I’m breaking into my mid-twenties and a lot of those unknowns are becoming realities. I’m getting married in just a few months. It looks like I’ll be completing the purchase of my first home next month. I have a job that I enjoy and, overall, a life I like living.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me I’m too young to be making all these moves. A lot of people that are telling me to hold off and “enjoy life” while I’m still young.

But I don’t feel that young. I feel like I’m moving into the part of my life I dreamed about when I was half this age. I can imagine the 12-year-old me saying, “What are you waiting for? This is what we’ve wanted!”

And now that I’m arriving in the place I’ve been pursuing since I was young, I feel like I am exactly where I should be. As if all the years before were to get me where I am today.

Some people see growing up as stages of transition. You were once a child, now you need to stop being a child and start acting like a teenager. Now you need to start acting like a college student. Now you need to start acting like a young adult. Now you need to stop playing around and get married.

But I don’t think growing up is about killing who you were or letting go of your past. It’s about building upon it.

When I was younger, I dreamed of growing up one day and having a career that I was good at, a family that I loved and a life with a purpose. I’ve worked for years to be in the place for that dream to be realized.

Some people want to stay young, avoid responsibility and keep to a place that makes them feel comfortable because they know they can always escape it if they want to. And I get the appeal of that; I understand the benefit of not “tying yourself down” somewhere.

It might be a tempting proposition, but it’s also an empty promise. I’m not about to let prolonged adolescence stand in the way of the vision I’ve had for my life since I was an adolescent.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand that people grow at different rates. And there’s nothing wrong with being single, but don’t keep yourself there in an attempt to hold onto your youth. Don’t limit the possibilities for your life because you’re afraid to step into a place that requires a commitment.

When we are children, we’re captivated by the potential that the future has for us. We fantasize about what we’ll be like when we’re older. And when we get to the place to realize that, we often want to go back to being children so we can keep that reality at a distance.

Getting older doesn’t mean losing that excitement and wonder we had as children. It just means we can finally be the person we once only dreamed about becoming.

"When I became a man I put away childish things; including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis

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I proposed to my girlfriend a few weeks ago.

We've been dating for a little over two years, but she's been my best friend since we met in 2006. I think the fact that we became such good friends before pursuing a romantic relationship has made our current state possible.  We began by loving each other for who we are, what our personalities are like, what our passions are.  The romantic feelings just followed suit.

For years, I wondered and worried about who I was going to marry.  I was afraid I'd marry the wrong person or miss the opportunity to marry the right person.  When Jenna and I started talking about marriage, none of those thoughts entered my mind; I had a sense of peace and assurance that she was the girl I should marry.

I'm not saying everything in our relationship has been 100% certain or that our future is going to be easy and without conflict.  But I do believe that we are both fully committed to each other and to God to make this marriage a representation of what God intended.

I'm excited for the planning stages and the wedding day, but I'm really looking forward to the many years of partnership and our adventure of starting a family.  I'm excited to enter into this covenant with Jenna and with God.  I'm excited to love her and sacrifice of myself the way Christ sacrificed for His bride.

So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

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Last week, I heard way too much about Miley Cyrus being in a video smoking a bong.  There was lots of speculation as to whether she was smoking weed or salvia.  My initial reaction was, "Who cares?"

The problem is not that Miley did something stupid and had it broadcasted across the Internet; people do that all the time.  The problem is that kids look up to Miley.  That's a lot of responsibility for someone so young.

We're constantly surprised when celebrities screw up.  Last year, people couldn't stop talking about how disappointed they were in Tiger Woods for cheating on his wife multiple times.  Who would their children look up to now that this "good man" had sinned so badly?

The problem is that parents are allowing celebrities to be role models for their children.  They're allowing someone they have never spoken with to have a profound influence on their kids.  Instead of taking on the responsibility themselves of being a positive role model and introducing people into their children's lives that will have a positive impact on them, so many parents are content with their kids idolizing these public figures they don't know.

I'm in no way condoning the actions of Miley and Tiger, or any other celebrities for that matter.  I think it's unfortunate that Miley seems to be heading down the path so many other child-stars have taken.  It's unfortunate that Tiger couldn't be the golfing good-guy everyone thought he was.  But we have to remember that these celebrities are humans that are bound to screw up, just as we are.

So hang out with your kids, be part of their life.  Get them involved in groups where they'll have other positive influences from other adults and peers alike.  Don't cater to their obsession with a particular celebrity; explain to them that a celebrity is a person just like they are.  Be the role model they need.  Be the person they look up to.  Be the positive influence that helps steer them down the right path.

Then next time a celebrity is exposed doing something you disapprove of, it won't be an issue that impacts your child's growth.

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I'm overly critical.

Surprised?  Probably not if you've ever read this blog.

I wasn't surprised either.  It's one of those things I've always known about myself, but never felt comfortable admitting to.  It actually took seeing someone I really respect come out and admit the same thing for me to feel okay with it.

When I was in Seattle a couple months ago, we visited Mars Hill Church.  During his talk, Mark Driscoll went off on a short tangent about how he finds himself annoyed a lot by little things.  He said, "I am always constantly annoyed because I'm the guy with the critical eye.  I notice everything that's wrong with everything.  So I am always annoyed, and I've had to repent of being annoyed."

Immediately, I thought, "Oh my gosh.  That's me!"  And I could tell my friends were thinking the same thing.

So over the past couple months, this is something I've kind of come to terms with.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not particularly proud of it, but understanding this part of my personality is definitely essential to my growth.

I think that people don't understand that I am not just overly critical of other people, I'm extremely critical of myself.  I won't call myself a perfectionist, because I don't think I am, but I definitely set high standards for myself in anything and everything that I do.  I'm annoyed with myself when I fail.  I'm annoyed when I don't live up to the standards I set for myself.

So what I'm finding is that being the "guy with the critical eye" has it's pros and cons.  It means when I do something, I do it well.  I don't mean that sound self-appreciating, but when I do something, I don't consider it finished until it meets my expectations.  At work, my coworkers know when they ask me to do something, it's going to be done well.

On the con side, I often extend those expectations to other people.  I tend to expect more from people than they expect of themselves.  That leads to me being annoyed that they aren't at least trying to live up to higher standards.  So when someone does something stupid, says something immature or falls for something, I'm annoyed.  When they speak or write improperly, I'm annoyed.

I'm not going to continue listing annoyances because that would be annoying.

I don't think it's an accident or mistake that I'm so critical, I just need to learn how to effectively direct that criticism.  I know that petty things don't matter; I know they're not worth being annoyed over.  And for the most part, I'm able to contain myself and easily get past those minor annoyances.  I realize that it's impractical for me to extend my personal standards to other people (let alone strangers I don't even know).

But I don't think it's a bad thing that I set these standards for myself (even though I fall short of them).  God demands that we do our best in everything we do.  Whether it's something I do at work, something I do at church, something I do for friends/family, something I do for a complete stranger or something I do only in the eyes of God, I should be striving for excellence.  That doesn't mean doing the bare minimum or doing just enough to get a pat on the back, it means doing everything as best I can.

I think that's something we can all improve on.

Not that I'm criticizing or anything.

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I was recently speaking with a friend about how he feels his relationship with God has kind of hit a wall.  His faith has kind of been at a standstill and he feels really disconnected from God.  He keeps wondering what he needs to do to allow for God's will to be done in his life.  He feels lost, confused and lonely.

I think that's a place most Christians have been before.  There are seasons of our lives where we're just bursting with fulfillment from our relationship with God.  We feel like things are figured out, we feel that we're doing God's will and are in His favor.  Our path seems clear, and we're walking confidently with our head held high.

Then we have seasons like my friend is experiencing.  You kind of feel empty.  You're questioning things you thought you knew.  You're confused about where God wants you and what He wants you to do.  You feel alone.

I've had that season a few times in my life.  It's extremely discouraging and challenges your relationship with God and your relationship with others.

When I find myself hitting that wall, here's what I do:

Pray

I know that seems obvious, but when you feel disconnected from God, it can be the hardest thing to pursue.

Pray that God's will is done in your life and pray that you will accept His will.  One of the biggest problems when we pray is that we're constantly praying for specifics and hoping that God will yield to our will.

We need to pray for the ability to discern and submit to God's will.  We need to make ourselves available to follow His will.


Bible

Read the Bible.

We're always asking for God to speak to us, but we're not always making ourselves available to hear from Him.  God can reveal things to us through His Word.

Before you sit down to read, pray for God to reveal His will through your reading.  And when you're done reading, talk to Him again!

I'm not saying that every time you pray for revelation and open your Bible, you're going to be slapped with some crazy epiphany.  But there have definitely been times when I have no clue what's going on in my life, I sit down and read one passage and, suddenly, things begin making sense.


Talk

When you're feeling stuck in your faith, it's important to talk it out with someone who can give you some wise insight.  When you're looking for someone to talk to, it's important that they know God and that they know you.  It has to be both, not just one or the other.

God can reveal things to us through people He has placed in our lives.


Worship

This is the hardest thing for me to do when I feel disconnected from God, but it's so crucial.  I'd say the most important time to worship God is when we don't feel like doing it.


I know that, overall, this is nothing profound, but when we find ourselves just staring at what seems to be an impenetrable wall, we sometimes forget the basics.

The best part about reaching a wall in your faith is breaking it down.  Some of my most fulfilling times of growth in my relationship with God were the result of my faith being tested and obstacles being overcome.

So if you're feeling disconnected from God or feel like you've reached a wall in your relationship that you just can't get around, remember that God doesn't let those walls appear to hinder your faith.  It's not meant to be a permanent roadblock that you can't get past.  It's not meant to make you feel alone or abandoned.  God doesn't want you to just search for a way around the wall or turn around and walk back.

Those walls are meant to be broken down.

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Ever since I was about 16 or 17, I've felt drawn to the city of Seattle.  I hadn't been there before.  I didn't really know what the city was like or what made it so special, I just knew I wanted to be there.

At the beginning of August, I finally went to Seattle.  Two friends, my girlfriend and I flew out for one week.  We spent the first couple days hiking and camping in Mt. Rainier National Park, then spent the rest of the time just exploring the city.  Was it everything I hoped it would be?

Yes.

I absolutely loved being there.  I loved the weather, the people, the culture and the location.  I loved that you could look one way and see Puget Sound (part of the Pacific Ocean) and then look the other way and see the Cascade mountains.  I loved that I could walk down the Pike Place Market and see a bunch of people selling local produce, things they had made and other unique items.  I loved how at night time, you could walk around and hear music being played all over the place.  I loved being able to get anywhere without a car.

Seattle pretty much has taken the two of the things I love most, music and the outdoors, and put them in one place.  There's music everywhere, in the form of concerts, museums, record labels and street musicians.  And the Cascade mountains are just a short drive away.  The hiking we did in Mt. Rainier was some of the best hiking I've ever done.  There was so much amazing scenery.  It definitely proved to be one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.

I am almost sure that living in Seattle would be the optimal place for me.  The only problem is how many people I would leave behind here.  I don't want to be a plane ride away from my family, I want to be a short drive away.  I want my future kids to know my family.  I want a long relationship with my friends.

So, right now, I'm not sure how feasible moving there would be.  But it's not all that bad.

One thing I realized while in Seattle was just how much it reminded me of Ann Arbor, where I live now.  Of course, Seattle is much larger, but the culture was very similar.  And in Ann Arbor, I still have to deal with crazy snowfalls and there are no mountain ranges nearby, but I suppose it's a good Seattle-substitute for the time being.

I'm sure there's a reason why I'm so drawn to Seattle, and I intend to find out why.  This trip was just the first step, I'm sure.  And while I'm content where I am right now, I'm looking forward to whatever the future holds, whether it happens in Michigan or Washington.

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